Break free from painful patterns and build the healthy relationships that you deserve.

Online Relationship Counseling for Individuals in Tucson and throughout AZ, WA, OR, MA, CT, and TX.

Are your relationships bringing you more hurt than happiness? You’re not alone.

Does this sound like you?

You are a caring person who only wants the best for yourself and others. Having empathy comes quite easily for you and when there is discord in your relationship or a loved one is struggling, you may feel incredibly anxious. You struggle with confrontation, not knowing what to say or how to say it. You don’t want to speak up in fear of upsetting or disappointing others, so you hold in your thoughts and emotions until you can’t take it any longer. You eventually “burst” in some way, either verbally or emotionally. 

In order to keep the peace and be a “Good … (partner, parent, adult child, employee, friend, sibling, etc…)”, you end up doing too much for others, taking on others problems and emotions as your own, and tolerating way too much inappropriate behavior. You fear being a burden to others or even losing the relationship entirely. So, you either avoid the issues or you try to fix them. You are left feeling depleted, exhausted, used, unappreciated, and resentful.

Stressful relationships can take a toll…

Painful relationship dynamics can really occur with anyone - a parent, partner, adult child, sibling, friend, or co-worker. The more important a relationship is to us, the more vulnerable we are to being hurt, and the more difficult it can become. This level of vulnerability activates our defenses and strong emotions within us, making it incredibly difficult to know what to do or how to do it. But letting go is hard, so we may continue to battle with the dynamics longer than we should. The longer we battle with the same feelings and patterns, the harder it is on our body, mind, and spirit. 

Depending on the severity of the dynamics, we can find ourselves actually feeling quite lost and depleted. We move into “survival mode” and we lose connection with finding pleasure in the little things.  Our inability to focus makes work harder. Fatigue can set in, making projects at home and work difficult. We can become quite angry, irritable, and overwhelmed. Because of this, the other relationships in our lives suffer as well. And… worst of all, we lose connection to ourselves.

There is a better way…

Imagine feeling stronger and more confident in yourself. 

You can gain a much better understanding of how to approach situations differently. Knowing when and how to speak up for yourself, set boundaries when needed, and understand what you truly have control over (and what you don’t) can become your superpower! The people in your life may have no choice but to start respecting you more and your relationships can start to feel much easier. You can find yourself establishing relationships that are mutual and healthy. Self-care becomes your top priority. You may notice this newfound confidence and trust in yourself is finding its way into all facets of your life. You can finally feel the sense of control that you have been longing for.

No more avoiding. No more walking on eggshells.

Together,

We will take a deeper look into the dynamics and patterns of your relationship.

Our focus will be on identifying your role in these dynamics and focus on “cleaning up your side of the street”. This means gaining awareness of how certain situations affect you and creating space to regain control of how you respond. By gaining a better understanding of what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not, you can start to understand where boundaries need to be established and maintained. 

You and I can explore and identify your personal values and learn how you can honor them consistently. This can assist you with feeling good about yourself and showing up more authentically in your relationships. Last but not least, we will also explore ways to self-care and nurture your body, mind, and spirit!

Fostering Healthy Relationships:

Moving from dysfunction and pain to health and safety has been my life’s work, both personally and professionally.

In 2006, I began my own personal healing journey toward building healthy relationships. The work I did to heal and make positive changes significantly influenced my desire to help others do the same. Much of my knowledge and expertise in healing relational trauma and fostering healthy connections comes from both my personal experiences and professional endeavors.

During my time as a Counselor at The Meadows, a world-renowned inpatient treatment center, I had the privilege of receiving training and guidance from two highly distinguished clinicians in the field:

  • Pia Mellody, a specialist in codependency, love addiction/love avoidance, and inner child work. Pia is the creator of the Model of Developmental Immaturity, the developer of Post Induction Therapy (PIT), and the author of several books, including Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction.

  • Claudia Black, a pioneer in addiction and family therapy, who was instrumental in developing a highly successful family program at The Meadows. During part of my six-year tenure, I had the honor of working closely with couples and families. Claudia is the author of It Will Never Happen to Me and Changing Course.

It is both my passion and privilege to bring this understanding, knowledge, and skill to you. I firmly believe that Healthy Relationships = Healthy Futures.

  • I educate clients on concepts relating to relationship dynamics, communication, emotions, and how trauma and the nervous system impacts our experiences. This information can often promote a better understanding of why we do what we do, as well as offer references to utilize throughout treatment.

  • PIT includes looking at childhood experiences and how patterns may be repeating in adulthood. Sometimes, it’s necessary to explore childhood trauma in a deeper way. 

  • ACT can offer valuable tools in understanding ourselves better and making choices to support who we are and what we want. 

  • ERP tools and concepts can support us in uncovering the root of our fears, empower us to step into our strength, and move forward with courage.

  • SE can be incorporated to increase awareness of our body’s automatic reactions and can assist us in creating more space to choose more intentional responses. 

What we’ll work on

Therapy for relationship challenges can help you…

  • Break free from unhealthy patterns.

  • Focus on what you can control.

  • Speak up for yourself in impactful ways.

  • Learn tools to work through conflict.

  • Identify your limits and set boundaries when needed.

  • Understand yourself better.

  • Prioritize taking care of YOU!

You deserve healthy relationships. You deserve a healthier you!

Questions?

FAQs

  • As you are discovering, you can’t force anyone to change, let alone go to therapy. However, it can only take one person in the dynamic to change the dynamic. By showing up differently and handling situations in a new way, the dynamic can no longer stay the same. The second goal of individual counseling is to focus on creating a healthier and happier you! 

    A healthier and happier you can positively influence healthier, happier relationships.

  • Some of the most common relationship struggles that I have observed, and have been supported by many specialists over the years, include:

    • Communication- Knowing when to speak up and how to speak up doesn’t often come naturally. Fear of confrontation or upsetting someone can trigger significant stress and anxiety for us. 

    • Boundaries- Many people have heard about the importance of boundaries but struggle with knowing when and how to set them. Boundaries can include both 1) external boundaries (like saying “No” or asking for space) and 2) internal boundaries (such as taking things too personally or spouting off insults).

    • Relational Trauma- Growing up in environments with dysfunction, significant stress, or loss can leave deep wounds. These wounds can often get triggered subconsciously in adulthood, causing us to feel unsafe. We can then respond from a place of fight, flight, fawn, or freeze.

  • I primarily work with individuals and I do not offer couples or family counseling.

    However…

    I do offer Communication Coaching,  assisting loved ones in creating a safer space to share vulnerable feelings and express needs. Sessions are designed for two people and are formatted with specific objectives in mind. Goals are typically met in 10 sessions.

    Goals can include:

    • Understand what emotional safety is and how to offer it to your loved one.

    • Identify your emotions and allow your loved one to do the same.

    • Reduce personalizing and reactivity.

    • Explore how your past may be influencing your relationships today.

    • Learn and practice new ways to communicate and respond to your loved one.

    • Create habits at home that support consistent connection to your loved one.

    • Prioritize taking care of yourself and improve your own self-care routine.

    PLEASE NOTE: Coaching is not appropriate for everyone and every relationship dynamic. We can meet for a free 20-minute consultation to help determine if this format would be beneficial for you and your loved one. Feel free to reach out!